I filed a grievance.

Following on from the August 22nd phone call I found myself on the receiving end of, that left me feeling extremely angry - Click Here to read more about it - I decided to write a letter to the company's head office. However, I mistakenly sent it to their sister company instead (the correct letter is now on its way). In hindsight, I'm glad for the error, as it led to a productive conversation with the head of the sister company. They completely agreed with my concerns, assuring me that I was right to raise the issue.

 

As of today, Friday, September 6th, I’m still awaiting the outcome of my grievance (I’ve chosen not to file it as a formal complaint - yet). Once I hear back, I’ll be sure to update you all, just as I’m about to share the letter I sent.

 

For privacy reasons, and to avoid upsetting any staff members or current/future customers, I’ve chosen to omit both the company’s name and the names of the employees mentioned in my letter. Below is what I have sent.

**Dear ................................................,,

 

I have never felt a need to write a communication of this sort before but regarding an issue that occurred on Thursday, 22nd August, involving one of your staff members at the ...................., located at .............................., I now find myself having to do so.

 

I have been a professional florist for thirty-eight years, the past eighteen of which I have spent running my own business, I have always operated within a small radius of where I began. During this time, I have personally created nearly fifty-thousand floral tributes and have worked alongside most funeral directors within a thirty-mile radius of Fareham. I have visited many of these businesses in person and have spoken with others multiple times by telephone. Over the years, I have formed friendships with some of the staff, and until last week, I have always been treated with professionalism. While a few individuals have occasionally been somewhat frosty, none have ever been rude, arrogant, or unprofessional.

 

However, last Thursday morning (22/08/2024), I received a telephone call that was entirely different. The caller began the conversation by saying, “You delivered flowers for ...............s today and they are disgusting!” There was no greeting, no apology for the difficult message, and no introduction. He did not even provide his name or identify himself as being from the ................... Instead, he immediately launched into a tirade, describing the tribute I had created just an hour earlier in a negative and derogatory way.

 

Throughout my career, I have received less than a handful of complaints about tributes I have personally created, the larger percentage of which occurred while working for others who did not hold themselves, or their businesses, to the same high standards I do. I have always taken immense pride in my work, especially when it comes to funeral flowers, knowing how important they are to those grieving a loved one. As you can imagine, I was utterly shocked by the harshness of the caller’s words. He claimed the roses were wilted, the flowers were dead, brown, and broken. He then said, “In all my years working funerals, I have never had to tell a florist I am refusing to take the flowers, but I am refusing to take yours.” Much of the rest of our conversation became a blur as I struggled to contain my tears and control my anger. I was devastated by the accusation that I had delivered something subpar, and initially worried that my driver may have had an issue when delivering the tribute.

 

For context, my driver has worked with me for the past eighteen years, and I have never received a single complaint about his professionalism. In fact, I often receive compliments about his demeanour and the care with which he delivers the flowers. 

 

However, given the severity of the caller’s accusations, I momentarily wondered if something had gone awry during the delivery. This turned out not to be the case, as I already knew it would be.

 

I understand that you may not record incoming phone calls, but I sincerely hope you record outgoing ones. If so, I urge you to listen to the call that was made to me at 10:08 on that morning, from the telephone number ..................... The tone and language used by your staff member were unacceptable. At one point, I believe he even used an expletive ("the F word"), although please do not quote me on that as my head was full of so many things at-the-time; however, your recording should be able to confirm this to be correct. 

 

When I offered to create a new tribute and have it delivered, he told me to take it directly to the crematorium, as the ............... would not accept it.  He repeated that he had never had to tell a florist this before. Feeling overwhelmed, I called my business partner to ask if he could deliver a newly created tribute to the crematorium later that morning. He agreed, noting that I was clearly upset. He then made the decision to go directly to the branch to collect the offending tribute, before returning it to the shop so I could see how I could have got it so wrong. On his way to the branch, he contacted our driver to see if anyone had been present when the tribute was delivered. It transpired the tribute had been placed into the hands of one of the staff members, likely the same person who later called me. At no point was my driver told that the flowers looked unsatisfactory, and it was a good thirty minutes between the time the flowers were delivered to the time I received the call.

 

When my business partner arrived at the branch, he was shocked by what he saw. A large portion of the flowers at the tail end of the spray were broken and piled on the shelf, while several central flowers were also damaged, some with indentations indicating they may have well been squashed by fingers. The staff member who called me was present and again rudely mentioned wilting roses. My business partner, who is not a florist, was able to explain that the flowers in question were not roses but Eustoma (Lisianthus), and that their appearance was normal. He even pointed out that the buds of the Lisianthus, which can sometimes droop slightly, were still fully erect, indicating they were fresh. He took photographs of the flowers in their condition, on site, before bringing them back to the shop for me to inspect. There was not a single brown petal or any other sign of deterioration, apart from the damage caused by (what I believe to be) mishandling.

 

Notably, the card on the tribute was in a different place than where I had originally attached it.

 

The included photographs show the tribute as it left my shop, along with the condition it was in when my business partner found it. Based on the evidence, we believe that someone at the Trinity Street branch dropped the flowers, which would explain the localised damage and the card being moved. A simple phone call informing me of this would have allowed me to quickly create a replacement tribute. One cannot help but wonder if the reason for being told to take a replacement directly to the crematorium - when there was enough time for us to get one to them before they needed to leave - was so we would not visit to collect the tribute, thereby not seeing what had happened to it. Mistakes/accidents do happen though, and I would have understood. 

 

However, the way I was spoken to on that call was unacceptable, regardless of the circumstances. Even if the issue had been due to poor quality on my part, the tone and language used were inappropriate. I am not seeking to file an official complaint as yet, but it concerns me that had it been a junior member of my staff answering the phone he would have reduced her to tears, and this then would most definitely have been a formal complaint against one of your employees. 

 

I believe I need to bring this to your attention as it is important that you are aware of the possibility that one of your members of staff could be subjected to the same treatment and may be too afraid to speak out. I would hate to think that someone who loves their job may be cowering each time he is on site. With the current #MeToo, #BearInTheWoods, #TimesUp and #Mansplaining movements taking over social media, alongside the ongoing investigations into the Hull Funeral Directors (and several more which have recently come to light) I would assume, like others, you will want to be doing all you can to avoid any kind of negative press.

 

I have no idea how long this individual has worked for your company, but up until this point, everyone I have dealt with at ................... has been lovely, especially ...... and ......, who always go above and beyond. However, I cannot help but wonder if this is the same man who inadvertently caused one of you staff members to be on the verge of tears a few years ago when I visited to dress the casket of a family friend, someone I had known over forty-years. On that occasion, I was told to arrive at a specific time, but upon entering the building, a flustered young staff member informed me that the deceased wasn’t ready for me, because the man who was supposed to seal the casket had left her alone. She left me waiting whilst she went to prepare her, before eventually returning almost thirty minutes later, extremely stressed, having been unable to secure the toggles on the wicker casket. Despite her calls, the man (allegedly) in charge had refused to return until it was time to load the body into the hearse.

 

To my surprise, I found this friend in the garage, surrounded by trolleys and other items, rather than in a proper room. Even more shocking was that I had to move four other coffins, all with bodies inside, that had also been left there. One of these coffins belonged to one of my favourite customers who had passed away a few weeks earlier. I have never discussed this with anyone, but it disturbed me deeply to see loved ones treated with such little respect.

 

Thankfully, I was able to help the young staff member by actually climbing atop the casket, having to distribute my weight more in the areas where the toggles were for her to be able to secure them, so that I could finally dress the casket. As I mentioned, I do not know if it was the same man who called me, but it seems that things do not run as smoothly at the ................. when ........ or ......... are not present, and a man is in charge.

 

In light of what has just gone on I have now instructed my driver to take pictures of every tribute delivered to .............. when he hands them over. It pains me that the trust and respect we have built up with ............... over the years has now been damaged.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this letter. I trust you will give this matter the attention it deserves and I will be very interested to know how you plan to address such an issue should it arise in the future; not just at .................., but at any of them owned by the company as I am certain the issues I have raised with you will not have been isolated incidences.

  

Sincerely,

 

Sarah ........  (Company Secretary / Director)**