Am I wrong to be angry?

I am possibly beyond livid; I'm so angry that I'm still shaking. This is not something I would usually address on a shop blog page. However, since the shop is directly affected, and because I am so incredibly upset, I’m sharing what has riled me up. I’m also sharing this because you all know how much I believe in transparency and owning up when I make a mistake.

On average, we deliver thirty-five funeral tributes each week. I’ve been a florist for thirty-eight years, so as you can imagine, I’ve created a lot of tributes - ranging from the very basic to the completely unique. I always go out of my way to ensure each tribute is perfect and exactly what the customer wants or expects. I am always deeply humbled when entrusted with creating a funeral tribute.

Of course, during that time, I have received a few complaints - fewer than a handful that I am aware of. While I would prefer to have received none, I feel a return rate of 0.01% is acceptable. One of those complaints occurred earlier this year. We had sent out a tied sheaf to a local funeral director for one of our regular customers. She came back to me so disappointed because the flowers were wilted and did not look as she had expected. The funeral director had assured us that he would place them in water until the service, but he failed to do so - we even provide vases for the sheafs to avoid any inconvenience. As always, I took a photograph of the tribute before it was sent out, and she could see that it was in perfect condition when it left us. The family of the gentleman who had passed away took the flowers home, placed them in water, and within a couple of hours, they looked as beautiful as they should have for the service itself. As a result, I will no longer deliver a tied sheaf to that particular director.

Photographing every tribute (nothing leaves the shop without being photographed) has proven invaluable today, although it has also fuelled my anger.

This morning started like any other. I arrived at the shop at 07:00, opened the back door to let some air in - though with the wind picking up, I wondered if that was a good idea. I put the kettle on and began selecting flowers for my orders from the stock that arrived simultaneously. Among the items was a single-ended oasis spray to be made with yellow and white flowers. The roses for this tribute had arrived yesterday; I prefer to let them have a good drink before using them, just in case the directors place them in the sun or near a heat source after delivery.

At 08:22, I took photographs of the completed tribute, which had to be delivered by 10:00. Chris left the shop at 09:17, with another delivery just down the road, ensuring the flowers were delivered to the directors around 09:40. Unusually for him, he handed the flowers directly to someone at the funeral home instead of placing them on the customary shelving. I haven't spoken to him yet (Clive has) but I assume he went inside to see if one of the ladies he enjoys bantering with was there. The flowers were taken from him by a staff member (unfortunately, his usual lady wasn't there). Chris has visited this director so many times that he had no reason to distrust them.

At 10:08, roughly thirty minutes after Chris delivered the flowers, I received an aggressive and extremely rude phone call from a man who identified himself as one of the directors at the funeral home. He said, "You delivered some flowers earlier for ....................'s funeral today, and they are disgusting. They're half dead, wilting, brown, and all falling apart." I was completely taken aback. Not only was his attitude shockingly rude, but he also wasn't describing the tribute I had sent.

Composing myself, I replied, "Okay, I'm not sure what's going on or what might have happened, but they were in perfect condition when they left here." I was about to ask him to read the card message so I could verify that the flowers were indeed from my shop, as I've had issues in the past with other florists swapping cards on tributes. He never gave me a chance to continue before snapping, "Well, I can assure you they're no good now. They're all falling apart, are dead, and quite frankly, disgusting. I've never had to phone a florist before to tell them such a thing, but there's no way I’m taking these to the funeral."

At this point, I was furious with the way he was speaking to me, yet utterly devastated that someone would say such a thing about a funeral spray I had made. I don't know how I held back the tears; I was ready to break down and sob. I apologised - yes, I know, after the way he spoke to me, I should have told him where to shove the flowers, but I'm better than that - and assured him I would prepare a new tribute and have it delivered. He insisted we deliver the new ones directly to the crematorium because he wasn't going to take anything we made.

Devastated, I called Clive and asked if he could arrange to get something delivered to the crematorium if I prepared it. He agreed and then asked why. So, I relayed the conversation. One thing I love about Clive is that he’s never afraid to tell me if I'm in the wrong, but he also knows how much funeral work means to me and that I go out of my way to ensure everything is perfect. He did what he does best: took control and went to the funeral directors to collect the flowers.

By the time he returned to the shop, he was as angry as I was. He said the funeral director was lucky it wasn’t yesterday (he’d had a bad day) or he might not have held his tongue after the way the man spoke to him. Now, Clive may still struggle with knowing some flowers, but he definitely knows the difference between a rose, carnation or lisianthus - only because I've drilled it into him over the past two decades. The man was pointing at the flowers, saying, "Look at how bad these roses are; they're all wilting," before Clive pointed out that they weren't roses but lisianthus, and that's just how they look. Even the buds were standing upright, which indicates their quality. Clive did agree with the rude man about some of the flowers being shattered and broken, but what the man failed to understand was that his own staff had handled them. One of his employees had placed them on the shelf, and like me, before any tribute leaves the shop, Chris shakes the spray to check nothing falls out; therefore ensuring any damage was made after Chris had delivered.

I can't say for definite what happened in the thirty minutes between Chris handing them over, and rude many phoning me, but I can categorically state any damage was not caused by either of us. When Clive arrived back with the tribute (I replaced the broken flowers/foliage - never needed to remove any of the others because there was nothing wrong with them) the card was not in the position I had placed it, so I firmly believe someone transporting it most likely dropped it. This would explain the card being in a different place as it would likely have fallen out, and would also explain the damaged flowers.

Clive took photographs of the spray on the shelf, showing a pile of broken flowers and bits pulled out in just one spot. He believes they knocked the tribute while placing it on the shelf and tried to fix or move it, causing further damage.

Whatever happened, only the person who handled it knows, but from now on, I will ensure that Chris photographs every tribute he delivers - whether it be in the hands of the staff member or once it's placed on the shelf.

Feel free to zoom in the photos below to see if you can find anything dead, or wilting, or if you feel that maybe it could be construed as being so. If you believe I am wrong in saying the flowers were ok when they left the shop then please let me know. I will humbly apologise if I am in the wrong.

The first two photographs are the ones I took at 08:22 this morning. 

These next photographs are the ones Clive took with the flowers in situ at the funeral directors! You tell me if I'm over-reacting in my anger!